The Samovar


Great April 4th gag!
April 4, 2007, 2:39 pm
Filed under: Civil Liberties, Politics

The Register has the best April 4th gag I’ve seen so far. The BBC is running it too, and everyone else for that matter. It’s almost tempting to believe it’s a real story, but, well, read it and you’ll see why it’s obviously a prank…

CCTV cameras will bark orders at people who misbehave in the streets of eight major British cities as part of a government scheme to cajole people into respecting authority.

Faceless bureaucrats will tell people off when they are being “anti-social” by dropping litter, behaving drunkenly, fighting, and, presumably, smashing up CCTV cameras and otherwise dismantling the apparatus of the nanny state.

But these bureaucrats will be voiceless too – CCTV operators taking part in the scheme will use recordings of children’s voices to browbeat wayward adults.

Cameras will be fitted with loud-speakers, but it is doubtful they will be fitted with microphones so people can answer back.

Using recordings of children’s voices will make it harder for those in opposition to the surveillance society to be defiant of the talking cameras. Moonies and rude gestures will most definitely be a no-no.

Children will be recruited from schools to take part in the £0.5m scheme and shown round CCTV operating rooms on school trips.

Louise Casey, the government’s “co-ordinator for respect”, said in a statement this morning: “We are encouraging children to send this clear message to grown ups – act anti-socially and face the shame of being publicly embarrassed.”

Tom Lehrer said that “political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Prize”. All I say to that is: not on April 4th, bub!

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2 Comments

“Comrade Smith…Comrade Smith…touch those toes.”

Comment by Edward the Bonobo

You know it’s a fake because it says it’ll cost £0.5 million. The government would never miss an opportunity to spend an obscene amount, this would be at least £50m.

Comment by Chris




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